Over the past one-hundred years it is mind-boggling to observe the advancements in technology. It is even more amazing to see how viewpoints have been reshaped by various breakthroughs. Those who have spend most of their lives working with computers and/or the internet, can probably relate to the frustrating, em
barrassing and awestricken moments that are oftentimes realized. In our rapidly changing technical times, some of the best companies have looked extremely stupid, while others have amused us with their observations. Here are 28 of our favorite quotes:
1. “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”
-Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
2. “I think there’s a world market for about 5 computers.”
-Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM, circa 1948
3. “It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology.”
-John Von Neumann, circa 1949
4. “The Internet? We are not interested in it”
-Bill Gates, 1993
5. “There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.”
-Ken Olson, President, Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977
6. “Windows NT addresses 2 Gigabytes of RAM, which is more than any application will ever need.”
-Microsoft, on the development of Windows NT, 1992
7. “If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, ‘We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more.’ “
-Unknown, at least to us
8. Naturally we feel that mentally ill people are not what we are looking for when we hire programmers – although there is no empirical data to support or contradict that view…… Is it appropriate to give tests for mental illness to anyone applying for any kind of job?
-Weinberg The Psychology of Computer Programming
9. “If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.”
-Gerald Weinberg
10. “Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.”
-Linus Torvalds
11. “There are only two industries that refer to their customers as ‘users’.”
-Edward Tufte
12. “Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”
-Steve Wozniak
13. “UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.”
-Dennis Ritchie
14. “PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.
-Jon Ribbens
15. Real programmers are surprised when the odometers in their cars don’t turn from 99,999 to 99,99A.
-Unknown
16. “The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with an idea.”
-The Wizardry Compiled by Rick Cook
17. “They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.”
-Janet Reno
18. “Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by ‘they’, I mean ‘computers’. I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)”
-Dave Barry
19. “There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.”
-Jeremy S. Anderson
20. “The only people who have anything to fear from free software are those whose products are worth even less.”
-David Emery
21. “If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.”
-Robert Sewell
22. “Fifty years of programming language research, and we end up with C++?”
-Richard A. O’Keefe
23. “First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.”
-George Carrette
24. Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.
-Putt’s Law
25. These machines have no common sense; they have not yet learned to “think,” and they do exactly as they are told, no more and no less. This fact is the hardest concept to grasp when one first tries to use a computer.
-Donald Knuth
26. “Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.”
-Rich Cook
27. “It’s ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know, less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute.”
-Marvin Minsky
28. “Can creation ever surpass its creator??”
-Mankind
Video games are just for the boys, and video games are for the nerds and not for the cool dudes. You cannot have average looking nerdy type characters playing hero roles in the games. Video games cannot be played by girls, because girls are too dumb to play them smartly. Why make video games for girls anyway, when most games are only played by boys and men? If someone did try to start a video game business, either making or selling video games for girls, then they will end up losing their business in under a year flat.
Free online classified ads have taken a bit of bad press from the press over the past year or two (or however long it has been since the newspapers realized that they were on the way out). Craigslist struck first and struck hard. Rather than paying to advertise in newspapers or even to sell on eBay, people could sell their unwanted and surplus items on craigslist to local buyers – at no cost to themselves. In an effort to keep everything in house, eBay released their own “tricked out” version in called Kijiji which has worked out to be mediocre at best. A few other hopeful competitors have tried to best the Craigslist beast, yet Craigslist still reigns supreme in the world of free online classified ads.
For as long as “the news” has been around many have been claiming that it is too grim, dark, bad, and controversial. I contest that we pattern the news after what matters most to us and that which we are afraid of, but I digress. Occasionally a few bits of positive news will come from a seemingly bad event. Or something truly remarkable and inspiring may unfold at the most spontaneous of times. The iPhone’s latest “happy app”, SmileNews, is setting out to break through your dreary and negative news feeds and bringten your day with all the news that is good and great.
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